The Small Guide to Alzheimer's Disease by Gary Small MD & Gigi Vorgan

Author:Gary Small, MD & Gigi Vorgan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: HEA039140 Health & Fitness / Diseases / Alzheimer's & Dementia, HEA010000 Health & Fitness / Healthy Living, HEA049000 Health & Fitness / Longevity
Publisher: Humanix Books

Chapter 5

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Caregiving

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

—Maya Angelou

Alice’s mother always had trouble expressing her anger directly, and she was often passive-aggressive. Alice remembered one night when she was a kid: her family was watching TV after dinner and her sister noticed Mom wasn’t there. They called out for her and searched the house to no avail. Alice finally found her sitting in the car in the garage, pouting and tearful.

“What are you doing in here, Mom?”

“Oh, somebody noticed? I thought I was just the cook and maid around here.”

Rather than simply asking her daughters to help in the kitchen, she cleaned it herself and spent an hour sulking in the garage. Years later, when her mother was suffering from dementia and her cognitive abilities declined, this passive-aggressive trait morphed into outright aggression. She would startle the family with angry outbursts—lashing out at waiters for not bringing the bread fast enough or accusing their long-time housekeeper of stealing her misplaced hairbrush.

Alice’s mom’s dementia was altering the function of her brain’s frontal lobe—the area responsible for controlling impulses. Its gradual shrinkage made it difficult for her to control the angry feelings that emanated from her amygdala, deep within the brain under the temples. As a consequence, her mental filters were disappearing.

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